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The last thought I can remember before sleep claims me is whether or not I am going to forgive the Commander for his cruelty? As I ponder, I also wonder if I am going to continue this ‘symphony’ of pain, pleasure, temptations and tortures, or am I going to leave the symphony halfway through? Dear Lord, what am I going to do? I wake up feeling refreshed, sore but restored. Still nude I get up, check my phone and am shocked to see that it is already 12:30 p.m. I then quickly check the fitness center schedule and see that there is a yoga class focused on stretching at 1 p.m. I dig through my bag that was obviously packed for me by The Commander- ugh I am so pissed at him I don’t want to think about him! I find in the bag my black yoga pants and hot pink yoga top. The Commander either packed my bag or gave explicit instructions to someone of what to pack, because the hot pink top that is packed is his absolute favorite. I then put on my yoga clothes, grab my keys and a bottle of water.. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I’ll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could.
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